Happiness comes from …. you

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted here!

A main lesson I’ve learned from this horrible situation of losing my Mum so soon from cancer is, happiness comes from within … me, or you. What I’m trying to say is you can only find happiness from within yourself!

Don’t make the same mistake I’ve made my entire life by relying on others for your own happiness. 

It MUST come from within!

I am in control of my own happiness, no one else.

When you realise this, it will bring you great freedom and … yes… happiness.

So going forward I will be relying on myself, no one else for my own happiness.

I mean this from a non hippie or new age way, I believe in God and Jesus which brings me happiness too. But we must realise that we cannot rely on people for our happiness as they won’t be around forever, as I learnt the hard way.

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New Year

2015 is here. A New Year. A new start. A new perspective.

I can’t believe it is already seven days in.

The biblical meaning of number 8 is very important in the Christian faith. Eight is the number of Jesus, whose name in the Greek adds up to 888.

It is also a lucky number in the Chinese culture.

Tomorrow is the 8th day of January and I pray for a new start, a new beginning and a new perspective.

After an unsettled last few months, with the passing of my loved mother, I plan to begin 2015 with a renewed mind and heart.

Last year I took part in One Word, where you choose a word to focus on for the year. I choose trust as my word for 2014 and I have decided to choose trust again for this year.

To be honest I didn’t really pay much attention to my one word last year, but I plan to this year.

I place my trust in God this year and truly pray for a changed perspective this year. I have realised I cannot control what happens to me but I can control the way I react to it or rather be proactive.

I know 2015 will be a better year.

A new year, a new start, a new perspective.

When we come alive

I read this amazing, life-giving post by Jon Foreman from Switchfoot – I had to share!

It helped me realise I will get over my grief, I will see my mum again, one day! Thank you Lord and Switchfoot!

Switchfoot are my favourite band ever, I cannot wait until they come to New Zealand in January for Festival One – just need to get tickets :)!

“Life is a concept, not a reality.” — Ferris Jabr

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

What does it mean to be alive? Is it breath? Growth? A steady succession of thoughts, feelings or actions? Scientists have no definite answer to the question. They say life is a process, not just a specific collection of materials. Bacteria, plants and humans all demonstrate radically different ways of being alive. So the question comes back to you: How do you define life? In many ways, the answer will come to define you.

For me, there is a dramatic difference between thriving and just surviving: life abundant and mere existence. There have been low moments in my life when I felt like I was slowly dying, just wasting away. Yes I had a pulse, but my potential felt untapped. The struggle for beauty, strength and truth left dormant while I drifted into the grey, meaningless tedium of the clock. “That he not busy being born is busy dying.”

These low moments contrast sharply with the times in life when I feel invigorated, fulfilled, and hopeful. These are the moments when I come alive. Think back to a moment in time when you felt more fully alive than ever. You feel a certain spark in the air, as if the sun has come out from behind the clouds and your heart is beating for the very first time. Think back to your first kiss, or the first day of school. Are your palms sweaty? Your body tense? Your eyes wide? The colors in the air are unlike anything you’ve ever seen?

I suppose what I’m talking about here is a qualitative element of living — abundant life, not just a pulse. You’d think this higher quality of life would be found among the fortunate few — the good looking, talented, folks with some cash to spend. Ironically, this abundance of life is rarely found in the places I would expect to find it. Laughter, joy, purpose, calling — I tend to find it in unexpected places.

I think back to some of the most generous people I’ve ever met. I have found more often the poor are much more generous than the rich. And, the same with the healthy – two friends of mine with the best dispositions are fighting cancer. And the same goes with the perspective of the blind, or the wisdom of mentally handicapped, the courage of the weak…. the list goes on and on. My friend Jeremy doesn’t have the use of his legs anymore and yet, his indomitable spirit refuses to quit. He surfs, he climbs mountains, he road-bikes – all without the use of his legs. Even in his wheelchair, my friend Jeremy has more mobility, traction, and drive than almost anyone I know. He lives life to the full: unencumbered with the obstacles and risks at hand.

Because life is a gamble. It’s an enormous risk to enter into this world, to leave the womb and take a breath. But here we are — the risk takers. The Living. The loving, risking, hopeful community of humans, breathing this air somewhere between the womb and the grave. We might have our eyes on the infinite, and yet we are bound to the present tense. Our lives are found only in this specific moment, only in this present passage of time. And in our mortality, we find that any of our greatest moments come only at a cost. There is risk involved. To love is to risk. To fight for what you believe in is a risk. To dare to change yourself or the world around you — it requires a commitment beyond the risk.

Everyone has excuses, but I’ve found that my excuses make for lousy stories. My favorite stories to tell are the ones filled with both my bold failures and successes — laughable attempts to get to places just beyond my reach. When we come alive we are stretched to become more than we were. When we come alive we are thankful for what we have. When we come alive we are bold in our love. When we come alive we gain a perspective that was lacking before. Because life is both a choice and a gift — we seek after it and it comes to us.

The meaning of life… Maybe it varies for all of us. But if the meaning of life cannot be answered by the scientists or the philosophers, then it’s up to the rest of us to define what it means to be alive. We, the living, answer that question every day — not with our words, but with our lives. Let us show what life means to us with our actions. Dreaming and hoping and reaching forward – we live our lives in the present, wide-eyed and expectant. Is life a dream? If it is, it’s a dream yet unrealized. The depths of this life have yet to be found. The highest peaks, the furthest reaches. Maybe abundant life has yet to happen. What does it look like when we come alive? Let’s find out.

 

Reverse Poem

Do you follow GodChicks on Facebook? If you don’t, you should. They always upload inspiring bible verses, quotes and blog posts!

I found this awesome video that is so powerful – just goes to show we speak words of life and death into our own lives and those around us!

The video portrays a simple yet powerful message and one that I believe God want’s us to understand. We will go through things in our lives that we didn’t expect, like losing my mum at the age of 28, but when we get to Heaven and see our lives in reverse – I believe everything will make sense, just like this video!

Thanks Godchicks for sharing 🙂

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Fragile life

I was listening to this song today and the lyrics really hit me!

I will lift my eyes from this fragile life
For you will rescue me, you are my prince of peace
And I lift up my soul to you who makes things whole
Oh, mercy love of old, in you I place my hope
I place my hope

We live a fragile life. We never know when our time has come to leave here and go home to the Lord

Life is so precious. Let’s live is well.

Birth

Last night I had a dream that I was giving birth. It seemed so real. I woke up and thought maybe it was true. It isn’t a physical birth of a baby but I think it is God birthing a new season in my life.

Everything has a season – summer, winter, autumn and spring. Imagine if we changed to having only one season per year. Some may enjoy having summer all year around for example but imagine what we miss out on – snow, rainy days, trees changing colour, certain fruit and vegetables no longer existing to name a few.

This is the scientific definition of why we have seasons: We have seasons because the earth is tilted (wonky) as it makes its yearly journey around the sun. The Earth’s axis is tilted at an angle of 23.5 degrees. This means that the Earth is always “pointing” to one side as it goes around the Sun.

Now, Gods definition of seasons is very different to this.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” Eccl 3:1

I heard a great sermon recently from Priscilla Shirer when she came to New Zealand for Sistas Conference.  Priscilla said something that really clicked – “There are three main seasons of life. We are either going into a season, going through a season or coming out of a season in our life”. How true is that.

I am currently going through a season of struggle as I work through the grief of losing my best friend and mum.  I feel as though God is taking me through this season to birth something new inside of me.

I cannot see what God is doing now but I know one day I will look back at this season and see what God birthed in me during this season. I am trying to take all the good from the season and that starts with an attitude of gratitude. I try to start my day with writing down in my journal things I am grateful for. Sometimes my lists are long and sometimes there short only consisting of selfish things like ‘I am grateful for a hot shower and coffee’ but other times I can’t stop writing. It also depends on how I slept the night before and my mood for the day.

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PS – My best friend gave birth to her first child today – so exciting. Birth is taking place around me now it needs to take place in me.

Until next time…

Thanksgiving and gratitude

Today is Thanksgiving in various countries around the world. We don’t celebrate it here in New Zealand but I do like to be more thankful on this day.

It’s been almost a month since I lost my mum to cancer, she slipped quietly away to go to heaven and be free from pain and suffering! I’m glad she’s no longer suffering but I miss her dearly. Especially around this time of year with Christmas coming up.

It’s funny I have this blog centered around gratitude and being thankful yet in my current circumstances its something I am really struggling with. The reason why I started this blog about 2 years ago was because I was sick and tired of the internet being filled with negative and ungrateful words so I wanted to add in some positiveness.

I really started this blog for others but right now it feels like I created this blog for me at the time as this. It’s funny how God works everything together for our good and its all in his perfect timing

Wait for the Lordbe strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”– Psalm 27:14

There are so many stories throughout the bible about waiting on and being patient for God. People waiting for their prayers to be answered, people waiting to be healed and others waiting to meet Jesus face to face when he was here on Earth.

I am not that patient even though I like to think I am, so waiting on the Lord is not an easy thing for me. I continually pray for God to come and help me surrender this burden of grief that envelopes me. Even though there is abundance of spiritual food and water around me I am starting to feel dry and weak inside.

An attitude of gratitude is what will get me out of this head space right now.

I am grateful for all the amazing memories I have of my mum. We spent almost 29 years together and built such a strong relationship with her. She was more than my mum, she was my best friend. She knew me better than I know myself. Even at the age of 28 I still called her everyday to chat and tell her I love her and she would always respond with ‘I love you to dearly’ I am so grateful for that! I loved her hugs to they were always so war and made me feel safe.

I am grateful for hundreds of photos and millions of memories I have that I will never forget!

I am thankful for God and saving my Mum from her suffering here on earth.

“Give thanks to him, bless his name. For the Lord is good. – Psalm 100:4

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