Misunderstood

How do you continue of your journey of life when you feel like your whole world is falling apart. I look around and see everyone enjoying their own little lives where mine is slowly crumbling away. Waking up each day since I lost my mum has been a struggle, upon waking I feel like rolling back over and sleeping away the day.

Eating breakfast or even thinking about lunch or dinner is way to much to handle. I’d rather just not eat or drink. I normally love coffee but I haven’t had or felt like that lately.

I am too full of emotions to even feel like eating or drinking.

Anger, confusion, sadness, tired, upset, angry, semi-acceptance and far too many to name.

I feel like my head is spinning and I can’t keep up!

Life is fast and busy, but life is also hard and lonely now.

I feel like I have no future without my mum

I feel sad I won’t have her here with me

I feel depressed she won’t be here for when I have children and need motherly advice

Most of all I miss her!

I feel very vulnerable and selfish right now, is that normal? Maybe it is for average people but I am a christian – so how am I suppose to feel?

What am I suppose to feel? And how am I suppose to grief?

Someone please tell me because I feel like I am spinning out of control now.

xo

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